Trial

CREAK!!!

“Erg…erg…” when the gate open and shows what is behind it, Arthan faces suddenly contorted so bad from trying hard to control his instinctual impulse to swear.

The chaotic argument inside Arthan mind even put their conflict in ceasefire because of this impulse.

Contort~ Contort

'BROWNS! All BROWNS! Whoever are you! I think you positively want to irk me to death!'

From a distance, Arthan only saw various kinds of brown coloured objects, wooden brown of the carriage body, bronze ornaments, brown tarps of carriages roof and wagons warp, brown horses, brown cows, and brown coloured uniform of the coachman!

‘What else can be browned? Why not dye my hair brown and give me earthy make-up! And I will be a golem!’

Out of one horse-drawn carriage and three cow drawn wagons, only Douglas house insignia that depicts a human in white robes idly sleeping while leaning under the green tree were of a different colour.

‘I swear to the god! It’s only because it’s not an autumn tree. If not, the insignia would be all brown!’

neigh!!

clip-clop~ clip-clop

A carriage drawn by three strong brown horses enters the castle.

To make the shortest path, the soldier removed all hurdles and fences on the carriage way, so the coachman could cut the way by passing calvary training ground and with the closest distance get to the main door of the main building.

thump~ quiver

“Finally, I can see you again, mother…” Arthan mutters quietly in anticipation and adds anxious words in his mind, ‘…And I hope we never change…”

There is one fear of Arthan that he dare not to even think about it, let alone talk about it with others.

He always fears the existence of his little brother would make her gradually forget about himself. Moreover, Arthan status as a disowned child made this fear greater than anyone could imagine.

'To not belong anywhere! I don't want to have the same experience ever again!'

When someone doesn't have a place where they belong, it may not matter for some. Other than longings and dreaming about it.

But when they have it and will lose it in the near time. How would you feel? MESS! Bloody mess!

neigh!!

clip-clop~ clip-clop

The carriage keeps advancing and gets nearer to Arthan.

From the open carriage window, Arthan can see a beautiful woman in a white dress; her long light blue hair stands out from the colour of the carriages.

She was looking outside the windows with nostalgia and relief in her eyes like she had been away for long times and just back home today.

SHUDDER!!

However, when her sight came to the training ground and then a boy with a torn big cloak for his size, her eyes trembles, her body shuddering, all of her hair raised, and her eyes changed into reds with tears keep wells on them as if they are waiting the right time to drop.

Not only the woman, but the boy in her sight also get his eyes blood red, and his lips keep trembling like he wants to utter something to her, yet he does not dare to.

Shatter!!

splash~

“Ah!” exclaims a red-haired boy who sits in front of her. The mug in her hand falls and shattered, the water on it splashing all over the carriage.

Yet as if she was in a different world, her eyes still glued to the boy with torn cloak and never left him.

Finding the women acting strangely after looking outside the window, the red-haired boy worriedly stretches his neck to the window.

Shudder!!

'Who is he? Why am I shuddering for no reason? Am I in fear of him? I am? And why mother looks in so much pain merely by seeing him? WHO IS HE?' many questions keep flooding the red-haired boy mind, yet not even he can answer.

neigh!!

clip-clop~ clip-clop

As the horse keeps galloping, the red-eyed boy is left behind the carriage; can’t be seen anymore.

Hug~

Slender pearly white arms wrap the red-haired boy body and hug him hard as if she is a ship anchoring her anchor in fear the water would make her move on her own.

drop-- drop--

Without a sob sound nor sniff sound, the light blue-haired woman tears fell drop by drop to the red-haired boy shoulder.

“Mo---” the red-haired boy wanted to ask the woman why is she crying. But no words came out from his mouth.

Her teary eyes, shuddering body, and how tight the hug she gives him; made the red-haired boy give up asking her.

He has an unexplainable dreadful foreboding that if he dared to ask her about it now, he would regret it for the rest of his life.

Hug~

Caress~

The red-haired boy hugs the woman and caresses her back, and causing the woman tears to fall like rain.

neigh!!

clop-clop

The carriage stopped right in front of the main door, where old Terry is already there waiting to help Arthan's family alights from the carriage. 

ta-tak

The light blue-haired woman, Maria, Arthan's mother, is the first to alights the carriage. 

The first thing Maria did after alighted is, to quickly turn her body around and face the carriage waiting for her son George to alights from the carriage. Or that is how the onlooker sees it.

Nevertheless, her shakily body and tears that still keep falling from her eyes say otherwise. 

Maria's eyes were always locked in Arthan direction, though she couldn't see him with the carriage between them, she still stood there looking at Arthan direction with guilt. 

Nonetheless, she can't even muster the courage to take one step to the right and see clearly her own son face from afar. 

Then how can she answer her guilt to her son? 

Thus she could only stand there powerlessly with regret, guilts, and other despairing emotions as tears kept flowing from her eyes. 

On the other side of the carriages, unlike Maria that have no means to see the other side, Arthan has one.

“Water magic - Binocular lens” mutters Arthan softly while hiding his light blue mist covered hand inside his cloak.

A lens as thin as a cicada wing and as transparent like it wasn’t even existing appears and stick to his right eye.

With the lens on his right eye, Arthan right eyes have the same eyesight capability as the young eagle eyes; at least now he can see as far as ten-time than before.

flutter~

Arthan slowly shuts his left eye and adjusts his right eye and brain to get a clearer sight.

He then searches for something that he can use to see through the carriage.

‘There!’ 

He doesn't know how or why there is a hole as big as a coin beside the windows, but because of it with 'Binocular lens' spell active, now he can see clearly, what happened on the other side.

drop-- drop--

At the other side of the carriages, Maria still stood there for so long and not even moving a step, and tears still kept dripping from her eyes like never-ending rain.

"Cough!" Old Terry, who has been standing behind Maria from the time he helped her alight from the carriage, let out a fake cough.

He fully knows what is transpiring in Maria mind, but his job is always his priority over other things. And from his standing point, if he still kept letting Maria stand in there for another minute, it would not be long before Maria loss her mind and ran to hug Arthan. 

Thus old Terry quickly reminds her with his raspy voice, “..Madam, young master George is waiting to alight.”

Hearing meaningful words from old Terry, Maria turns her body to old Terry, showing her blood-red eyes to him, “Thank you, old master!!”

Old Terry didn't respond to her and merely assisted Maria to help George alights, as cold and efficient as ever.

Ta-tak

The red-haired, Goerge, Arthan little brother grudgingly alight from the carriage.

Alighting from the carriage, George quickly turn his body around and want to snap at that boy and ask him, 'Who is he?' and 'How did he make his mother act strange?'.

However, every time George tries to turn his head. Maria hands will turn his head back automatically. 

"huff~" George let out an exasperated huff.

'I had waited exasperatedly so long and in torture to silently see my mom cried a river, and now I can't even snap at that kid? Heavens! Which devil spawn is that kid is?!!'

After trying for some time and still failing, George could only be a good boy and enter the main building and go straight to the second floor.

Witnessing what happened on the other side of the carriages and the images of his mother and George getting away entering the building, tears unknowingly fell from Arthan eyes.

drop-- drop--

'Mother is still the same mother. She still loves me and recognizes me as her son, and that's enough for me!'

Wiping his tears Arthan, let go some burden from his mind.

The fact that George existence had never made her forget him was enough for him.

Although his mother on Earth never forgets him.

The two is different women merely with the same name, Arthan is sure of that, and because of it, Arthan honestly doesn't know how he should think about the two.

‘Both of them loved me dearly, and the word love may not even be able to express the meaning of me inside their heart. There is no need to compare both of them!’

Wiping his eyes and looking at the highest tower on top of mind building, Arthan made a vow.

“I may have left regrets under my uselessness at Earth, but not this time! Neither the fate, the world, nor that man could make me succumb!”

 

Popopolopop

Clench

bulge bulge

Arthan clenches his hand hard, and many veins visibly bulge all over his body.

'The last one…. It should be him!’ mutter Arthn, getting his eyes back to the hole.

slither slither

From the hole where Arthan observing his mother, he suddenly saw a slithering white object that should be human hair.

“Huh? It's not him? But why old corpse follows along with mother?” mutters Arthan with ill foreboding grappling his mind.

Arthan had thought the next to alight should be his damned cockroach-like father, the one he hates the most.

But what he saw was a slither of long white hair.

In his family, the white-haired one could only be his great-grandfather, the one that even his father feared. No other person has white hair in his family because both his grandparents were already in heaven.

Ta-tak!

The white hair owner prudently alights from the carriage.

‘No wrinkles!! Not even one! But how?!!’

Though the one haired owner skin looks sickly pale, there is no wrinkle on it that meant he was just sick and not elderly.

“How? How? How!” repeats Arthan numerous times as he keeps looking for an answer.

thump!! thump!!

The adrenaline keeps pumping Arthan brain waves by waves, making his heart racing without control and his pupils enlarge to the max,

‘IT’S NOT FUNNY! YOU DAMN FATE!’ shriek Arthan inside his mind.

ta-tap~

As if he knows someone is looking at him from afar, the white-haired man turns his body around like Arthan’s mother and gives a smile in the direction of Arthan.

He then mouthing something that made Arthan already chaotic mind turn upside down, 'Wel-co-me-back my so-n!'

SNAP!!

His binocular lens spell abruptly disintegrates to water mana, and he loses contact with his own mind palace.

Spasm~ Spasm~

“ack! ack! ack! ack!” grunts Arthan, holding his head.

The reality and his sceptics-cynical prejudgment now clashing between each other in his mind. 

It’s not anymore about anticipation and anxiety; it now becomes the battlefield of what makes Arthan as Arthan itself.

He always believed that man disowning him and never wanted to meet him again because he was a selfish bastard who only loved himself and ignored others.

But that man sickly pale face and yet not fully whitening hair shows that Arthan is wrong, big erroneous at that.

Spasm! Spasm! Spasm!

“arg! arg! arg! arg!”  Arthan feels like his mind is under DDoS attacks and now overloading.

‘All fake! FAKE!’ 

neigh!!

The coachman takes the carriage away under the white-haired man order. 

With no carriage to hindering his view, Arthan saw a man with the same face feature as him, the one he loathes about all these years. 

Yet his whitening hair with sparsely black hair, sickly pale face, and slightly hunched back; telling him it wasn't the same man, yet at the same time, he knows it was him.

"Why?" utters Arthan, his head was blank for a second from overloading, and his legs shaking uncontrollably.

Arthan had prepared all bad words that he vows to spite out on that face, yet when he saw that man now, the word that he could say was mere ‘Why?’.

plop

Arthan falls to his knees in agony, yet he doesn't care about it. 

His eyes still looking at that man, never a second did he even blink.

‘Why do you have to live like that when you readily disowning me from the get-go? 

Why do you care about the other life, but for me?

Why are you never looking for me?

Why do you make me hate you?

Why are we have to live like this?

WHY?!!!'

The questions were on the tip of his tongue, yet he had no strength to utter them.

drop-- drop--

The white-haired man, as if he read Arthan mind, his eyes become misty and wet his cheeks. 

CLENCH!!

Clenching his fist to get courage, he mouths two words that Arthan did not want to hear the most, 'I-M SOR-RY.'

ta-tap~

sob~ sob

Couldn't take his emotions under control, the white-haired man turned his body around and then looked at the ground, remembering all his uselessness as a father.

squirm-squirm~

As a living witness of this family misfortune after misfortunes. Even old Terry plain apathetic face is melting and shows some rare expression.

Though, it still can't make him forget about his job.

"Cough!!" old Terry let out a cough to garner attention from the white-haired man and said with his raspy voice, “Young master, the madam is waiting on the second floor.”

Hearing the word, the white-haired looked at old Terry eyes. 

His eyes show his madness and chaotic thought, yet old Terry did not even budge.

"I know!!" hoarsely, the man grunts his words.

tap tap

Without looking back at Arthan, the white-haired taking his heavy feet to enter the building with old Terry following behind.

reach~

Seeing the white-haired man entering the building with old Terry, Arthan wanted to chase him and reach his hand out, yet his reason telling him that would be useless. 

‘Whatever truth I will get, it will change nothing. That man and mother never approached me… this is a fact!’

Drop-- Drop--

Like his mother without sobs nor sniffs, Arthan red-eyes cry a river.

Thud!

Letting his body lie down on the ground, Arthan keeps holding his head, face full of grimace, and tears fall like a stream.

"AAAARGH...." screams Athan as loud as he can give shiver to everybody who heard him.

The truths he had always believed in, with his self-proclaimed intelligent brain, turned out to be all fakes and wrongs!

"What genius? I'm just a conceited idiot!" screams Arthan.

Still, Arthan should be grateful to found out about it now, because some people found that their sceptic and cynic though have brought a disaster to them, only after it's all too late and they've lost all people around them.

STARE!

All children eyes in the training ground once again fall to Arthan. Once again, they are now flabbergasted don't know why Arthan keeps screaming.

'Hours ago, he suddenly screamed and th1en doing bizarre exercise, and now he screams again. What in hell is he gonna do now?' this is the thought of other children. 

They don't know what the Baron family have gone through, nor can they know Arthan chaotic mind.

"Are you okay, boss?" asks Toby, not knowing what he should do with Arthan.

"What's wrong, boss? Why are you crying and screaming?" the other three also come around him and ask if he was okay.

silence

Nevertheless, Arthan gave no response to them and just slowly tried to get used to the pain brought by reality.

He lied on the ground for hours. One minute he would calm, and another minute he would sob and wet the earth, torturing his underling with agony as they can't get away even when they are terrified.

Jerk!

After god knows how long, using simple jerking motion of his legs, Arthan made himself on sitting position.

"Boss--" blurts Toby.

"Go do your own thing! I have tons of things that need to do!" interject Arthan, liberating his underlings.

Done saying what he wants to say, as if he wants to cut himself from the world, Arthan crosses his leg and make mudra with his hand.

"Wait, Boss...!"

"Boss!"

No matter how loud the sound of his underlings gets, Arthan never gives them a response.

‘I can’t enter mind palace and my mind in the loops…’ thought Arthan checking his condition, ‘… it's embarrassing to do that in the open, but I need to do that, or it won’t be long before I truly went insane!’

Arthan condition is like having heavy migraine. He still can think straight, but his mind is on brink of collapsing due to continuous bantering loops of arguments inside his head. 

It was the symptoms before someone went insane.

All he needed to do now was stop whatever his brain was doing and take over the authority back. 

It wasn't the first time Arthan was in this situation. On Earth, many times he has experienced it. 

He even created the most useable mantras for this situation, though this time, the problem is more serious, and he needs to do it in the open where everyone is watching him.

mumble mumble

“What is the boss mumbling about?” asks Daren curiously.

“Dunno, I don’t recall, I have heard those words he used!” answers Mart, bothered about how Arthan knows what he s doesn’t even know. 

mumble mumble

“Hey, this one, I know it!” yell Toby happily, feeling smug because he knows what the other doesn’t.

“Of course, you know it, dumbhead! It was a mere bunch of numbers he spewing!” interjects Zack. His face is incredulous. He can’t picture what strange thing is Arthan doing.

‘1.61803398875~~ what in hell even that means? Mantras? Magic spell? Cultivation sutras?’

Yes, what Arthan doing, is spewing ‘Phi’ or the golden ratio number in English and then stepping it up in magical world words.

Why? In simple logic, his mind is currently in the loop for a useless thing, but he can’t stop the loop as the loops forcefully use brainpower for their own conquest to the other. 

Thus, he can’t only make other loops to take his brainpower back from that uncontrollable loops.

Then why ‘Phi’? The brainpower he can use is mere nickels and dimes, which limits his choice for the loops he can create, but counting ‘Phi’ fit the budget perfectly. 

From simple numbers, he can remember with a blink in English and then raise the level up to other world words, and with never-ending numbers, he can spew. Thus, ‘Phi’ perfectly fit the budget.

In conclusion, with 'Phi', he can create infinite loops with higher and higher levels to convert or eat those loose brainpower used by the unconsented useless loops in his mind.

blip!

The sun changed following the time that went and never back. Now it is orange, nearly red. Before long, the world will turn black, and the moon will rise as the sun go to sleep.

“HUAAAA~ I did it! DANG WORLD, I DID IT!” shouts a boy in a cross-legged position, not forgetting to exclaim in a proper manner. 

His clothes were all torn, and the white and brown colour had become more earthy because of the dust accumulating on them.

There is one word that very well fit the boy “Beggar!”

woooshooo"

"Argh! Shit!" the winds pass by, hurling dust at him and showing an empty training ground with no one else but the boy.

"Bah! Bah! Ptui~" the boy, spitting out the dust and other substances from his mouth.

“Hahahaha….” Arthan let out laughs to wash away his awkwardness and embarrassment while looking at the guard doing their works at the gate and entrance of the main building, “Those guys must though I’m insane, now… hahahahaha.”

Jolt

Crack crack

By simply jolting his feet to stand up, Arthan joint cries out their protest for left them in sourness without flowing blood. 

“My mind palace is cracking…” says Arthan in a grin. His face looks fresher than before since he has let go some burden that kept weighing him down for the last six years, “But who cares? Enough mana can patch it anyways…”

tap tap tap

Arthan took his way to face the reality that he doesn’t love to experience.

“…Well...It’s not like I can escape from them for all eternity…”